Small waves snap at the shore
they stir my heart with every roll
Memories of our children, grandchildren
playing in the sand in a time now gone
You have disappeared beneath the waves
your ashes a ghost in the bay…and angel among us
The slaps of the waves pound into my heart
pushing at me again. I stop …I stare at the
bay and my body and soul is so restless
Peace never comes… completely
it seeps in here and there but never, ever
does it complete me again.
I remain unwhole, flakes of a past I hold
against my skin…it’s jagged edges
searing the softness of my now aging body
I am missing your heart, your eyes, hands,
your gentleness… your voice, lips on mine, and
your love, and our togetherness.
In my minds eye, this scenario… you gone before I
appeared diferently . I though my strength and spirit
would keep me abreast
I find my strength to be dull and my spirit crestfallen…
I am abreast to pain, perserverance, and
the constant loss of you over and over and over and over again.
Every grain of sand on our beach is a reminder of our dreams together
How sad it is to linger here nearest to our paradise…alone
This dream wreaks of a nightmare…the nightmare I never wake up from
The waves continue to lap towards me…the tide coming forth
to enter my space of solitude
a reminder that it will never end…this grief
this dream of all dreams … the one we shared together for years
now nightmarish and lost
I must perservere or else be swallowed up by the tide
joining you – that is the new dream .,.
to entwine my loving heart with yours again
Cancer Wife 